


Didn’t Know I was Looking Till I Found You

by iammisscullen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angels and Demons AU, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Demon!Tony, M/M, Marvel with Supernatural AU, Mentions of Death, No Major Character Death, One-Sided Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, human!Bucky, i don't know how to tag, i'll add a few more if necessary, there's STUCKY mentioned, there's a headcanon but in an AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 16:50:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21000986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iammisscullen/pseuds/iammisscullen
Summary: A mortal once wrote something about hell that Tony finds fascinating. The writer pointed out how humans actually carry hell around: under their skin, deep within their bones. And Tony wants to agree. How else do you explain the cruelty and horror on an every day human life?Not that he cares about these pathetic creatures. That is not on his job description.‘Tony, we have another one,’ Clint informs him from where the blonde is looking at their team monitor.He just nods tiredly and vanishes.orTHE HELL GIRL AU no one asked for





	Didn’t Know I was Looking Till I Found You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys! So, I'm doing a Halloween Special. This thing has sat on my computer since last year, and I haven't finished it yet, because the second half is tricky to write. Another P.S. is that I'm not sure if STUCKONY will be the end pair or sticking with the solo WINTERIRON.
> 
> This should also have been short, but I can never write the minimum of a drabble, can I? This is purely nothing but self-service to myself and the nagging feeling of writing something supernatural for October, because it's just my favourite month and season.
> 
> Hope you like it! I'll try to post the other half next week.

_ 'there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin.' _

**-hozier**

A mortal once wrote something about hell that Tony finds fascinating. The writer pointed out how humans actually carry hell around: under their skin, deep within their bones. And Tony wants to agree. How else do you explain the cruelty and horror on an every day human life?

Not that he cares about these pathetic creatures. That is not on his job description.

‘Tony, we have another one,’ Clint informs him from where the blonde is looking at their team monitor.

He just nods tiredly and vanishes.

**

The inquiry brings him to a dark room only lit up by a single lamp. The place looks like those posh military quarters he’s seen in passing.

‘It worked,’ the human whispers, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Tony gives the man a force smile instead of rolling his eyes on the mortal’s incredulity.

‘I can’t believe you’re real,’ the man mutters again, drinking in Tony’s appearance.

The demon’s done being curious as to how these mortals are surprised by his lack of horns and pointy tail. The all black ensemble suit makes sense at least in his line of work.

‘Are you prepared for the consequences, mortal?’ he asks. It’s part of their whole disclaimer thing that can also be found on their website.

Yes, a website. A website from hell. It only works at exactly midnight. You type in the name of the person whom you want to send to hell and they will be. Not to mention the torture the said person will undergo base on their crimes while alive.

It all sounds wonderful until you learn that by sending someone to hell, you also damn your own soul to the same fate when you die. And of course, you’ll be tortured as well base on your own crimes. It won’t be fun without the maiming part because, duh: hell.

So, Tony tells the man exactly that. Disclaimer purposes and all; an old habit from way back when things like websites or computers don’t exists, and you can only summon a demon at a crossroad after burying a black cat. Ah, the _good _old days.

‘This man deserves it,’ the mortal ― Kyle is his name, he says ― begins darkly, knuckles going white as he forms trembling fists with his hands. ‘He killed lots of people. Innocent people. Children.’ His voice drips with caged rage. ‘And he killed my family.’

As often as Tony gets into this situations where the summoner tells him about how the person they’re about to be damned to hell deserves it, he doesn’t actually give a fuck. He’s just bored when they rant about their usual morality speech. Ugh, it’s a nightmare.

Clint should really give him more credit for having to hear all the useless shit these mortals spit. It’s like they’re trying to convince Tony why someone deserved to be sent to hell. But by Lucifer, he doesn’t need their inane persuasive speech because he simply doesn’t care.

Mortals die every day by thousands. It is an inevitable end to a simple cycle of life. Humans are birthed into this world and they will surely die one way or another. Let it be for a few more years, or maybe the next month, or the next day, the next hour or minute or second. They are born and they die. C’est la vie.

Not that it matters to him.

But a customer is a customer, so Tony shuts his trap. Not that there’s a quota for them about the number of souls they’ve managed to damned. He prefers to give Clint someone to pester ― torture ― other than him and Tony’s lack of hobbies.

Tony hands the mortal a straw voodoo doll with a red ribbon tied to its neck. ‘Pull the red ribbon within the next twenty-four hours if you truly wish to acquire our service.’

Kyle takes the doll cautiously. ‘And that’s it?’

He badly wants to punch Kyle and the human’s constant mistrust. Maybe show him a few specialities from Clint’s Torture Playbook. But he restrains himself because he takes his job seriously. He’s a professional.

He nods instead. ‘He goes to hell and you do too when you die.’ He adds a malicious smile that only widens when he noticed Kyle wincing. Fear is always a welcome emotion.

Hmmm... Maybe Kyle will disappoint Tony’s expectation. After all, hell is not something to take lightly. _Ha! _

But secretly he hopes that the mortal will go through it.

‘Any more queries, human?’ Another part of his usual spiel. And when Kyle shakes his head, Tony vanishes once again.

**

‘Do you think he’ll do it?’ Clint asks Tony, who’s reviewing the files they have on Kyle’s target: James Barnes.

‘Do you want to make a bet?’ he replies, not taking his eyes off the screen of his reading materials.

The blond demon grins impishly.

**

Turns out Kyle was vengeful enough to doom James Barnes into damnation, and so Tony, Clint, and Natasha has a soul to maim.

It’s always a three-demon team. One to summon and review files: Tony; one for the paperwork: Natasha; and the other one to do the tormenting: Clint. And the blond demon makes sure he outdones Loki, the record holder for Best Hell Persecutor.

Since Tony’s the front-man of the team as well as the “researcher”, he’s required to see the person’s memories and every file on Earth that the person has. He gets to know these cursed individuals inside and out. And he can say with confidence that most of them deserve to go to hell.

But something about James doesn’t sit right with their usual client. Sure, there are few people who went through their hands for petty crimes as an effect of vindictive fellow humans. Their punishments have been short, and to compensate their accusers suffered more for false witness (it’s all in God’s Ten Commandments even).

James despite of all the blood and lives lost in his hands shouldn’t be blamed because he was brainwashed into doing those despicable crimes. Morally saying, he legitimately didn’t have a choice between doing good or evil.

He’s almost done reviewing James’ file, and thinking of petitioning it to the Higher Ups, even if there’s a huge chance that Fury’s going to ignore it and just doom James because Fury’s a lazy ass like that. ‘Too much paperwork,’ he’ll say. What a bastard!

But Tony’s tired. He doesn’t want to go through all that paperworks either if he fights for James’ case. Besides, he’s a demon, and they shouldn’t meddle with human lives.

He’s taught himself long ago not to care. Not since after —

_Steve._

Wait. That’s Steve. His Steve, his best friend… in James’ memory.

But… how? Steve is alive. The blond demon has become human, and he cares for James. A lot.

It aches. Somewhere deep down in Tony’s rotting soul, it aches like it did before when Steve vanished. No goodbyes, no last words. Nothing.

And now, here in James’ memories: Steve is alive, he’s a soldier — a captain. Steve is laughing with James, drinking with James, fighting a war with James, _kissing_ James.

The look of horror on Steve’s face when James fell off the train in the Alps is heartbreaking, even when Tony’s sure he doesn’t have a heart ever since he’d become a demon. But it’s the only thing he can name the feeling deep within his chest.

What’s he supposed to do now? He wants to ask the Steve in James’ memory. This Human Steve has the same laugh lines as His Steve, they have the same stubborn will, the same self-righteous moral code (that Tony hates, but secretly loves).

What does he do?

What does he do?

What _will_ Steve do?

**

_ ‘Steve, just fucking finish the case,’ he demands his blond best friend. _

_ ‘I can’t,’ Steve replies. ‘It’s too cruel to just let it be.’ He looks at Tony with those pained baby blue eyes. ‘I can’t let it be when we both know she doesn’t deserve hell.’ _

_ ‘I don’t care, Steve,’ he tells the other demon, fear growing in his gut. What’s the worst that could happen? Not much, right? ‘We are not the judge of that.’ _

_ ‘Yes, we are,’ Steve insists. The stubborn idiot that he is. ‘She did nothing wrong and you know it. We know it.’ His eyes blaze with passion. ‘It’s not her fault to love another woman. It’s never wrong to love another.’ _

_ Sometimes Tony’s not sure how did Steve end up being a demon when the blond’s moral standard is somewhat of an angel. There must have been some sort of mishap when they’ve assigned him in hell. _

_‘Well, there’s nothing you can do about it,’ Tony tells him sharply, masking his terror, and secretly telling himself that Steve might be an idiot but there’s no way in hell he’s that much big of an idiot._

_ And knowing Steve, he’ll probably see that as a challenge, another well-known quality of a demon, and that right there is done right. _

_ ‘Not if I do something about it,’ he smugly informs Tony as he turns away with Peggy Carter’s file in his hand. _

_ And Tony should have stopped him. If he only knew then that it was the last time he’s going to see Steve. _

**

Great, now he’s even thinking of copying Steve’s idiocy. Not a good life decision. He loves the man, but loving himself more — self-preservation, really — comes easier in their unholy, supernatural flesh.

‘Do you know why you’re here, James?’ he asks the brunet sitting across him on the table.

James shakes his head, not looking up from where he’s staring at the red ribbon tied to his wrist.

‘Someone sent you to hell,’ Tony informs the ex-assassin.

The soldier looks up then, and there’s no surprise in his empty, blue-grey eyes. It’s not what the demon is expecting. Mortals are usually furious upon learning their current predicament. Some of them would beg for mercy, for a second chance. For _anything_.

But not James. Not Human Steve’s James. He seems to be accepting his fate even when Tony knows very well that he doesn’t deserve it because the demon had seen the soldier’s life, had seen the tormenting he went through under HYDRA’s hands. It’s inhuman.

And now, here is this broken man about to undergo another set of torture that he does not deserve even when it was his hands that killed those people. It reeks of injustice.

Steve would never want this. Not for James, because Human Steve loves James. Maybe it’s not literally His Steve who loves James, but nonetheless, he knows that His Steve would do the right thing, because he’s Steve like that.

And Tony’s never done anything to help Steve, or change his mind about Peggy Carter’s case. He’s regretted it, even more by not telling Steve how he feels for him. He wonders if Steve could have stayed if Tony had confessed his feelings.

Or maybe Steve being banished from hell and into the mortal world is a blessing. Steve’s always been _too_ good to have been a great demon.

This isn’t easy. This is not normal procedures, and he should stick with the guidelines. But Steve… he needs James’ back. Human Steve is looking for James, whom he calls Bucky, just as when His Steve used to call him Shellhead (Tony’s not sure where he got it from).

Should he give back James to Steve, so Steve could be happy? Tony had never fought for Steve. And he should, and maybe then Steve didn’t have to feel so alone all those times he argued with the Higher Ups about Peggy’s case.

Shit, their system is as fucked up as human judiciary.

What exactly does he do? The moral thing? But is it worth it? He asks as he stares into James’ empty eyes. This human isn’t even bothered, and he badly wants to shake James, wants to tell the ex-soldier that he needs to fight for his right to life because Steve is waiting for him on the other side.

He wants James to fight like how Tony _should_ have, if only he wasn’t such a coward then.

‘Tell me, James,’ he begins and leans back on the back of his chair, ‘what will you do if given a chance at life?’ Maybe he can’t get Steve back now, but he can still give Steve the happily-ever-after that the blond deserves, because fate had been cruel to the Steve when he was only trying to do the right thing: saving someone innocent.

The mortal pauses to think. ‘I don’t know,’ he answers. ‘There’s no amending to the lives I took. There’s no salvation for me.’

‘But what if there is?’ Tony insists because he knows that James had already started trying to amend for all his faults. He saw it in the ex-assassin’s memories.

James hasn’t forgiven himself yet — and he might never — but he has begun doing good to make up for all the bad he did. It’s not enough. They both know it and that’s why James’ is accepting his destiny.

The ex-soldier glances at him confusedly. ‘The world would be a better place without me.’

‘Maybe,’ he agrees. ‘But it won’t make any difference, to be honest, because the world will continue to prosper or diminish whether you’re in it or not.’

‘What’s your point?’ James sounds tired. ‘Because I’d rather get this over with sans the mind games. I’m done with those.’

It’s another fact that Tony knows about. The manipulation and brainwashing that HYDRA did. It left a huge trauma on James, nightmares that are worse than hell itself.

‘I’m offering you a way out of hell,’ Tony announces. ‘On conditions of course,’ he adds with warning. ‘You can come back to earth but you have to live your life doing good and whatnot. Maybe extract revenge on HYDRA.’

James winces a little at the mention of HYDRA, and Tony surely notices.

‘And if I don’t?’

‘You’ll have to face me once again, and then some of my colleagues who can think of creative ways to hurt you that would make HYDRA’s torture seem like a child’s play,’ he lies.

There’s no way in hell James’ will meet Tony again because the demon doubts the Higher Ups will allow his transgression, no matter how much he had helped them before. The only way James will return to hell is if he dies or someone dooms him again. But that’s unlikely since Tony’s planning on taking his file and delete it from the system, and throw James’ soul in another parallel universe.

Tony’s going to give James a new life even if it cost Tony’s own. Well, he has lived a long time. Besides it’s time he makes somewhat of a right mistake; make Steve proud and all that.

Yes, it seems like suicide. But Tony has a feeling he will never be at peace — ha! the fucking irony is laughable — if he lets them maim James for the things he wasn’t suppose to account for.

Oh Hades, does he hate Steve and his stubborn morals that had been encrypted in Tony’s, too. And he hates his non-existent heart for wanting to do something for Steve without gaining anything in return. How do those winged-bastards call this gesture again? Selflessness? 

Even just thinking about the word makes him want to puke in his mouth. Ugh, emotions should be kept alone for humans and those stupid angels, because they can manage to express it without losing a limb — or existence, in this situation.

‘Why are you doing this?’ James asks doubtfully. And Tony wants to applaud him for being wary of a demon.

He contorts his mouth to form the most sincere smile his debauch body can conspire. ‘Let’s just say I owed someone a favour.’

James stares at him with slit eyes, and Tony can almost hear the mechanical workings of his brain right now. The mortal must be assessing the pros and cons. And he should.

It takes close to a minute before James says, ‘Okay.’ There’s still some hesitation in his eyes as if he’s waiting for Tony to tell him that this is already part of the tormenting, and he’s been played.

He stops himself from smiling too wildly, because he knows that his smile is malicious, and he doesn’t want the mortal to have more reason to not trust him. He grabs the man’s hand and untied the red string.

The mortal didn’t ask question, but he looks perplexed.

Tony wraps the string to his own wrist. One of his fingers turns into a claw and pricks James forefinger, the man flinches a little as a bead of blood oozes from the wound.

He has heard other demons before romanticise blood, saying that it’s beautiful, how pretty it is to watch mortals bleed. But as he stares at James’ blood, all he can think of is how red it is, and how his skin crawls at the sight.

If he has a heart, he’s sure this is the time for it to beat rapidly as his breath hitch, and his palms to sweat. But he’s a demon, he doesn’t have those human functions anymore. Nonetheless, his stomach churns, because this _is _it.

The bead of blood continues to grow bigger by the second as Tony stares at it. A tsunami of hesitation creeps into his mind, as his self-preservation freezes him in place.

Sweet death, it’s hard. He can’t do it.

He doesn’t have too, right? Steve would understand.

_Steve_. He’s still waiting for James to return to him. _Steve._ He loves James very much. _Steve._ He was there for Tony from the very start. _Steve_.__

And there’s also James. This mortal who deserves a second chance at life. James deserves this. James _deserves_ this.

The blood is _so _red, symbolising mortality, a possibility to be good or evil.

Tony _can’t_ do it. This isn’t what his ill-soul should carry.

But _Steve._

What happens to him after? He ceases to exist. A huge part of him can’t stand with the idea of not existing, of doing this _good_ deed. But a small part of him, whatever is left of that bloodline of angels after _The Fall,_ pushes him into doing the good thing.

Tony’s scared, for the first time in his corrupted existence. He’s terriefied.

_It’s okay_, he can almost read the words on James’ eyes along with the resignation that Tony’s not going to be able to save him. And he wants to be angry at the mortal who’s trying comfort him.

And as if the stubborn part of Tony refuses to be soothed, he plunges the bloody finger inside his mouth, eliciting a surprise gasp from the mortal.

James’ finger is cold, and his blood tasted like sweet honey, somehow. Tony swallows the red liquid and slowly, James disappears before him, those haunting grey eyes are wide with disbelief and anguish.

He pulls the finger out of his mouth and musters a smile for the human. ‘Don’t get into trouble now, soldier.’

Huh, curious as to how a mere mortal manages to worry for Tony’s well-being. The demon’s not worth the worry, he wants to tell James but the man’s gone.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've reached the end, congratulations and thank you for staying! Please tell me what you think, and send me lovely motivations. You know the drill! xoxo


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